January 29, 2009 kristan303

Who are you?

My name is Tommy Johnson, everyone just calls my T.J. I am 5 years old. I love playing with my toys, even though my mommy gets mad when I don’t put any of them away I guess she’ll never understand that I only do that because it’s easier when I’m ready to play with the same toy again later. She’d rather me dig all the way in my toy box over and over. My favorite thing to do is ride my bike over at the park. I like chasing the ducks on my bike.

What do you do?

Well I have a busy life. It’s really rough. I start my day by getting up to get ready and then eat my breakfast. Then my daddy takes me to school. I have lots of friends there. It’s really hard work. My teacher makes us do a lot of school work. The worst part is she gives me homework and my mommy won’t let me go play until it’s all done.

Who, what, when and/or where do you come from?

I came to live with my mommy and daddy 5 years ago. I’m pretty sure a stork dropped me off. I’m not sure where he brought me from because all I can ever remember is my house now with my mommy and daddy. I love living in my big house with my mommy and daddy. Our house is across the street from a park. That’s where I go to ride my bike, play on the swings, and play basketball…not when it’s too dark though.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized

6 Comments Add your own

• 1. froggie162  |  January 30, 2009 at 1:59 am

  1.) Simple, Normal, Reluctant, Easy, Cute

  2.) This person did not add enough detail or description to their paper. This person is probably a parent and is likely a woman. This person needs to add more description and excitement to their character. This person likely wrote this at the last minute.

• 2. getslappy  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:05 am

  1. Happy, young, hopefull,

  2. He liked his childhood. He is messy and doesn’t put things away. He thinks that birds bring people to the world.

• 3. jahkneefi  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:05 am

  1. Partly humorous, nice fluency, poor character choice

  2. This person’s word choice reflects character well. This person captures the essence of a 5 year old almost to a frightening “T”.

• 4. Michelle Ray  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:07 am

  1. Young……………………………………………..

  2. This person writes as if he never takes a breath while speaking. Very hard to follow. The idea of writing as a five year old was a clever idea but still need to write like a “big person.”

• 5. hcoursen  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:17 am

  ~ This seems like either you were referring to yourself as a child or you have children.
  ~ It seems like you like to be a child and you don’t want to grow up.
  ~ It could seem to me that you are a parent and your child is really attached to you or you are really attached to your child… or both.
  ~ If and when you have kids it seems like you want the best for them.

  Your sentence length is good. It is different in all your paragraphs which is good. You really seem like you know where to add commas and your grammer is good.
  Try and use words that aren’t all the same “level” maybe try to mix word use up. Try using thersaurus. (sorry SP.) They give you great word ideas for words.

• 6. hcoursen  |  January 30, 2009 at 2:18 am

  HAHA sorry I just realized that I used good like 3X and I’m telling you to use different words. sorry didn’t mean to seem so hypicritical.

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to comments via RSS Feed